Usually, my journey to work resembles a ‘Smiths’ album. I saunter to the train station and in my sombre mood, I begin to pick faults with everything around me that I am taking as the universe telling me; these are more reasons why you should leave your hometown as the feelings of dread in my stomach begin to intensify.
Not today.
The predictably late train did not bother me, nor did the bad-mannered chavs or even the unnecessarily loud announcement from the train conductor, who blatantly hates his job as much as I do. (I’m reaching here, but that’s the reality of resentment that has gone too far).
For I had a brown envelope in my bag that contained a letter – a letter which symbolised a massive step in this dramatic transition of mine.
In case you haven’t worked it out yet…
…I have handed in my notice.
Stevie Wonder style: Signed, sealed and delivered (but I’m no longer yours).
Here Are The Emtions That I Felt:
Hysteria – The endorphins kick in as soon as I hand it to my boss, during small talk over the latest football transfers. I’m way too excitable and it shows.
Absent-minded – I want to be that stoic man, who is professional and puts 100% energy into his remaining hours at work. But I have already failed in becoming him as my mind wanders and daydreams about my future.
Nervous – Fear kicks in. “have I done the right thing? Is it too early to be doing this?” Don’t be fooled by my smile – I’m happy but extremely nervous too.
Doubt – Directly related to the above emotion. Sometimes doubt is actually our friend as it looks out for us and stops us from harming ourselves. Well thanks for your concern Mr Doubt, but I have no use for you right now.
Identity – For a while, I have felt like a phoney and have been guilty of human nature’s most unspoken crime – not being true to myself. Today I’ve ripped off another piece of my mask and the real me is starting to show. I like him better than the other guy already.
Narcissistic – I become so self-involved that I can’t understand why the whole world is not as excited as me. Why is David Cameron not mentioning me handing my notice in on this week’s ‘Prime Minister’s Questions??’ Oh, so The UN have enough time to mention their beef with Gaddafi, but fail to highlight my termination of employment?! I am consumed by my own world, this is a big deal for me.
Gamble – Financially, this is a gamble. I haven’t yet made a sustainable online income as I hoped for and although I am over the moon to leave my job – I will now say goodbye to a steady paycheck.
Idiocy – After handing in my notice, I found the nearest room and closed the door. I then blasted the new Foo Fighters song at obscene noise levels in my iPod and played air guitar around the room… seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naughty – The feeling of being a bit of a rebel. Love it.
Mantra – I have developed a mantra to get me through the annoying bureaucracy that comes with a job. It is simply this; “tick-tock,” which symbolises that there is a countdown to how long I have to put up with this – and the clock is agonisingly close to zero right now.
Yearning – A deep longing for my dream of travelling around this fine world feels ever so closer – but still so far away.
Notorious – I am well known for leaving jobs. I envisage all of the conversations some family members will be having behind my back when they find out this. “Eeeee what will we do with Anthony….”.
Opacity – The feeling that many people will misunderstand me and my choice.
Tenable – I’m completely justified in my actions, even with the doubt about my ability to change my future – this is the right call. NOTHING could change my mind and keep me here, now that my mind is made up. Not even Kate Beckinsale dipped in chocolate.
Impatient – My mind has already left my job, but my body hasn’t. Raaaaaah, hurry up September 2nd!!
Canny – The local northeast England word that goes with just about everything. How am I feeling after handing in my notice? Canny! It’s going to be canny scary and canny exciting at the same time. Nevertheless… it’s all canny!
Elation – The positive feelings outweigh the negative feelings catastrophically. I have wanted to do this for so long and I am delighted and ecstatic that I have 🙂
Can you relate to any of the above emotions when you handed in your notice? Are you still in a job which you dislike and are considering leaving for pastures new?
Update
Since writing this post I successfully left my city as well as my job (forever). I got the party started In Malaysia, and travelled to over 100 countries while building a successful online business. I also lived in the 6 following cities:
- Phnom Penh, Cambodia
- Chiang Mai, Thailand
- Bangkok, Thailand
- Medellin, Colombia
- Santa Marta, Colombia
- Mexico City, Mexico
My blog now hopes to give free, firsthand advice on the destinations that I have had visited, while also inspiring people to “put a time limit on fear,” by taking a chance on themselves in life via my personal challenges and I have being a major proponent for self-employment and making money online way before it was cool!
