I Went to France – and it Was Almost as Boring as This Blog Post

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In order for me to correctly update my where I’ve been map – I have to write a little something about each country I have visited. In fact, a simple photo would suffice, but considering the fact that France was only my 2nd visited country all those years ago – I have none.

And to be honest, there isn’t that much to write about. I did very French things like drink expensive coffee in pretentious places and ate my bodyweight in croissants. I watched mimers in the street and didn’t find them quite as endearing as everyone else seemed to find them. I ate food which now makes me wince because the older and better-read me now knows the truth behind it. (Foie gras?! N’importe quoi!!)

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This poignant period of my life gave birth to my; ‘French Accent Goggles Syndrome.’ A serious, debilitating and chronic condition, which renders me mentally paralysed and unable to use logic when hearing a woman speak in ze sexy Franglais.

Side effects include poor decisions, week knees and a wild stirring in my loins. Friends say it’s curable, but I’m not sure they quite understand the severity. I’m still seeking therapy, but no one seems to master in my disorder.

Maybe I didn’t try enough. Maybe it’s because I like polite people and I found the French anything but. Maybe it’s because Western Europe just doesn’t seem to ‘do it’ for me.

I simply didn’t love France and you will not be seeing me proudly sharing enthusiastic photos in front of the Eiffel Tower, or pretending to be calm in the queue at Le Louvre. If you’re a Francophile and this post has gotten your French Knickers in a twist, then je suis désolé. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

But it was all worth it for the sexy accent.

And I regret nothing.

Song for the Moment: Non, je ne regrette rien, by Edith Piaf

Notable Lyrics:

“Non, Rien de rien
Non, Je ne regrette rien.”



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4 comments

  1. Vinjabond Reply

    Haha… Your experience sounds familiar to many of my jaded traveler friends’s time in France. But alas, it is France and I will have to eventually make it over their, so I feel your pain brotha.

  2. Sofia Reply

    It’s not just you…. France is one of the least inspiring places I’ve been to…. Yes you should go to Paris at least once in your life, and deal with the hordes upon hordes of tourists taking millions of selfies at all the tourist traps they have, and then you go home! The rest of France has pretty things to see, but it’s nothing you can’t find elsewhere, yes you have nice resort like expensive beaches filled with pretty people at the French riviera (plenty of countries even in Europe have nicer beaches, for half the price and much less fancy clientele), and yes you have a bunch of fancy castles in the Loire Valley (but castles and churches follow the once you’ve seen two or three you’ve seen them all trend), and yes the French alps (but there are mountains with snow all over the planet). France is ok to visit just to say you went there, but to me…. it’s by far one of the most overrated countries on the planet!
    Let’s not even start with Germany and it’s perfect, overruled, sterile cities that shut down at midnight! And yes plenty of hipsters from Brooklyn will tell you Berlin is the most awesome city on the planet (a city taken over by hipsters), and yes the raves at Frankfurt (A sterile bank town with nothing to do), and how beautiful and funky Cologne is (A city bombed in WWII with and rebuilt with bunch of cement block buildings 60’s looking buildings and an old gothic church in the middle, with two nightclubs). Western Europe = overrated.

  3. Globetrotteur Reply

    Its easy to say that France is boring and overrated…most of these people posting such comments are probably uncultured Americans….all Americans are uncultured.. And if France is boring then what is USA? France has a lot of history and culture that the US never had and never will…USA is a land of poor desperate immigrants who just need money for survival…im France there is a different meaning to life… Its called “decadence”…the french have achieved a very high standard of living with a very rich culture, yes many French are depressed because there’s nowhere up left to go…France has everything and its a very complete country so people are a bit bored..but u can find your space and it is a stunning country not at all overrated but rather very open to the world compared to closed aggressive police States like UK and USA which have a trash violent alcohol and drug / gun / knife obsessed culture. British, Americans and other Anglo saxons cannot appreciate France because the Anglo saxon way of life is all about economising and survival.. Its all greed and work obsessed with no culture or decadence. Anglo Saxons live to work and French work to live…. Thats the difference and its a huge difference.

    1. Anthony Middleton Reply

      Interesting comment! But it’s just as “easy” to say that France is wonderful and amazing, right? Everyone has their own opinions and I genuinely wasn’t that fussed about France. Anglo Saxon hard work ethic is definitely a thing – but I don’t see how that plays a part in liking a country or not?

      I find the French to be very snobby in general. In Latin America if you speak terrible Spanish – they will be thankful that you are making the effort – most countries are like this. France is not. It’s like they’ve smelled a bad smell when you dare to speak imperfect French. For all of the faults of my country (UK, I don’t understand why you think I am American and I’m also not super-patriotic) I don’t think we are so cold in that respect.

      And about the crime – it seems that France’s crime rate is shooting up. The UK is not a police state haha. We are a weak, politically correct state with no strong figures of authority.

      I don’t have any bad feelings towards France, I was simply underwhelmed and the majority of this article is tongue in cheek.