I Went to France – and it Was Almost as Boring as This Blog Post

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In order for me to correctly update my where I’ve been map – I have to write a little something about each country I have visited. In fact, a simple photo would suffice, but considering the fact that France was only my 2nd visited country all those years ago – I have none.

And to be honest, there isn’t that much to write about. I did very French things like drink expensive coffee in pretentious places and ate my bodyweight in croissants. I watched mimers in the street and didn’t find them quite as endearing as everyone else seemed to find them. I ate food which now makes me wince because the older and better-read me now knows the truth behind it. (Foie gras?! N’importe quoi!!)

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This poignant period of my life gave birth to my; ‘French Accent Goggles Syndrome.’ A serious, debilitating and chronic condition, which renders me mentally paralysed and unable to use logic when hearing a woman speak in ze sexy Franglais.

Side effects include poor decisions, week knees and a wild stirring in my loins. Friends say it’s curable, but I’m not sure they quite understand the severity. I’m still seeking therapy, but no one seems to master in my disorder.

Maybe I didn’t try enough. Maybe it’s because I like polite people and I found the French anything but. Maybe it’s because Western Europe just doesn’t seem to ‘do it’ for me.

I simply didn’t love France and you will not be seeing me proudly sharing enthusiastic photos in front of the Eiffel Tower, or pretending to be calm in the queue at Le Louvre. If you’re a Francophile and this post has gotten your French Knickers in a twist, then je suis désolé. We’ll just have to agree to disagree.

But it was all worth it for the sexy accent.

And I regret nothing.

Song for the Moment: Non, je ne regrette rien, by Edith Piaf

Notable Lyrics:

“Non, Rien de rien
Non, Je ne regrette rien.”



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2 comments

  1. Vinjabond Reply

    Haha… Your experience sounds familiar to many of my jaded traveler friends’s time in France. But alas, it is France and I will have to eventually make it over their, so I feel your pain brotha.

  2. Sofia Reply

    It’s not just you…. France is one of the least inspiring places I’ve been to…. Yes you should go to Paris at least once in your life, and deal with the hordes upon hordes of tourists taking millions of selfies at all the tourist traps they have, and then you go home! The rest of France has pretty things to see, but it’s nothing you can’t find elsewhere, yes you have nice resort like expensive beaches filled with pretty people at the French riviera (plenty of countries even in Europe have nicer beaches, for half the price and much less fancy clientele), and yes you have a bunch of fancy castles in the Loire Valley (but castles and churches follow the once you’ve seen two or three you’ve seen them all trend), and yes the French alps (but there are mountains with snow all over the planet). France is ok to visit just to say you went there, but to me…. it’s by far one of the most overrated countries on the planet!
    Let’s not even start with Germany and it’s perfect, overruled, sterile cities that shut down at midnight! And yes plenty of hipsters from Brooklyn will tell you Berlin is the most awesome city on the planet (a city taken over by hipsters), and yes the raves at Frankfurt (A sterile bank town with nothing to do), and how beautiful and funky Cologne is (A city bombed in WWII with and rebuilt with bunch of cement block buildings 60’s looking buildings and an old gothic church in the middle, with two nightclubs). Western Europe = overrated.