Can a place be beautiful, yet disgusting at the same time? You’d think not and I’d usually not support this clearly oxymoronic notion…and then I met Lapa.
It’s disgusting, but in such a beautifully unapologetic way.
Type “Lapa Brazil” into Google and the first thing you’ll see is a one-star rating on Trip Advisor from a disgruntled couple who got robbed. This could have easily been myself, or any of my friends and one should definitely enter Lapa at their own risk.
Alas, the Lapa Gods shined bright upon us and bestowed nothing but a good time, burst ear drums and a caipirinha-flavoured hangover.
What The Hell Is Lapa?
Lapa is an urban, open-aired nightlife district in Rio de Janeiro where you go to when all the other bars are closed and you aren’t quite ready to clamber home and drunkenly kick rolled up socks around your room, pretending you’re Roberto Carlos in Le Tournoi du France back in 1997.
It’s one massive street party that is bouncing all weekends with street food, beers, caipirinhas and samba music constantly blasting out – sensory overload time!
The muggings and good times are both equally a rite of passage, the stench of fresh and stale piss is part of the decor. I was happy to experience it twice and wake up in the morning/early afternoon, feeling thankful that I experienced the legendary Lapa and survived to tell the tale.
My mate turned into a Lapaholic and braved it at least five times on his own. I wouldn’t suggest that anyone else does that, particularly a girl. It’s better to go with a group of people that you trust because Lapa smells weakness, chews it up and spits it back out when it’s done.
Safety in number is always the key with dodgy places like this.
Are there any other Lapa party survivors out there? I suggest we all get matching tattoos so that we can recognise each other around the world.
Also it’s just really fun saying “Lapa” – it really rolls off the tongue.
Song For The Moment: “Unpretty,” by TLC
You can buy your hair if it won’t grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That M.A.C. can make
But if you can’t look inside you
Find out who am I too
Be in the position to make me feel
…So damn unpretty