Are You in a Violent Relationship With Yourself?

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If someone was to wander the streets talking to themselves out loud – it probably wouldn’t take too long until the men in white coats took them away to a mental institution, or society would just stay away from them – declaring them insane.

But the truth is, we all live with a voice inside our head. Don’t we?

And the sad reality is that it’s usually the voice of a tormentor. A bully. An Oppressor. An Antagoniser. Just a bit of a dick, really!

It’s usually worse when we mostly need it to be kind, uplifting, protective, nourishing. It’s at these times that it rears its ugly head and beats us down with every poisonous word, which we immediately identify with and attach to – affecting our emotions and happiness levels for the worst.

You Are Not Your Mind

It would be nice if we could spend most of our thinking time being our own cheerleader, nourishing our core beliefs with supportive affirmations – but after years of bulls**t conditioning and past pain, whenever we hear negative self-talk going on in our mind – we just accept it as the truth and allow ourselves to go on a downward spiral.

Because we are what we think, right?

No, it’s not right. It’s insanity and it needs to stop if you’re even half serious about having more joy in your life. Now I’m not going to give you any new age fake ‘spiritual’ quick fix crap here – personal growth and the path to happiness is an individual journey with many bumps. But we don’t half make it harder for ourselves a lot of the time.

Just try this method next time you hear that abusive a**hole in your head talking down to you – think about the person who you love more than anyone in the world. It could be your mother, your lover or your brother – whoever.

Think about someone who you care about deeply, intensely – a person who you want to protect from all things bad. Now imagine that that someone is saying these mean things to this person.

Would you accept it as the gospel truth?

Would you bow down to them and nod your head? Join in?

Would you allow this intimidating voice to continue hurting this person that you love so much?

Of course you wouldn’t. You’d fight with every cell to preserve their wellbeing and happiness. Better still – you’d tell your loved one to stop listening to that voice/person saying those things, or demand that they stop associating with them at all.

So why not treat the negative voice inside your own head with the same contempt? Why not protect yourself…from yourself?

It’s easier said than done, but it can be done. It won’t happen overnight and it takes a lot of practice – but at least start opening up to the fact that you might not be the terrible person as you think you are.

Be good to yourself! Does a tormenter live in your head? If so, why are you such a welcoming host?

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1 comment

  1. Ernesto of Madrid Reply

    I am also having a not-so-nice relationship with myself. I often blame me for the failures that I made in my life so far. Hopefully, I would work to put in place a better relationship with self, I know this will reflect positively in all aspects of my life.