Dear sad face, happy Monday and get that chin up. Today is time for some tough love. Life not going the way you want it to? Suffer a constant feeling of regret and guilt for not taking your life to the next level? Is that man/woman in the mirror not living up to their potential? Does every day feel like Groundhog Day? From lessons learnt after 28 years on earth, read on to find out why your life is not going to get better any time soon, unless you change certain destructive habits.
1.) You Are An Advice Whore
You are so indecisive that you update your Facebook status, asking your friends list what colour knickers you should wear.
Advice is complex and human intuition is extremely underrated. There are 7 billion human beings alive today on this planet; all with different desires, drives and experiences. This is not a one-size fits all world so you should stop asking for advice, and start listening to your inner self as soon as possible.
That neighbour with three cars, posh house, with a lovely garden and two holidays a year, who is giving you financial advice – he secretly has it all on credit, works 70 soul-destroying hours a week and never gets to see his wife. Oh, and she’s totally shagging the pool boy.
That friend who is giving you relationship advice – she’s recently been hurt by the last guy and is going through a man-hating phase and subsequently pushes people away. She is under “Bunny Boiler” in many men’s mobile phone contacts.
The exception to this rule: seek qualified advice! If someone has something that I want, I simply ask them to explain how they got it – and I duplicate with enthusiasm. Keep it simple and stop asking every man and his dog for advice; you’ll be getting pulled in all sorts of directions.
Intuition – I can’t hammer this home enough. You know what you want; you’re just listening to a thousand other voices, when the only one you should listen to is the one in your heart.
2.) You Are Lazy
Just ‘wanting’ a better life is not enough I’m afraid. You should crave it as strongly as you desire food, oxygen and hanky-panky. You daydream of an improved life and a better you, in your traffic jam from work to home, occasionally side-tracked by relying on striking lucky with them lottery numbers this weekend.
You get home and you rest your tired mind with Coronation Street, or Babecast. Why not? You’ve worked hard, so you deserve it – right? Yes, and you shall get what you deserve. Not taking any action towards your personal goals? Not even taking the first step? You’re lazy!
3.) You Are Scared Of Failing
What if you commit to your goal and you don’t succeed? People will mock you and you will be the laughing stock amongst your peers, right?
I call that a filter system. The right people will support you and the wrong people will soon show their ugly colours – simply target the bad apples and don’t spend any more time on them. No one wants to fail, it’s an awful word, but I’m struggling to think of any invention/business that got it right the first time of trying. Just ask the inventor of the light bulb:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work”
Moral of the story; try new things – risk aversion is not sexy or always the best choice.
4.) You Are Socially Conditioned By ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’
I’m for a country where they really don’t like people attempting to grow as a human being, especially with things like finances and alternative careers. If you’re born working-class, you should stay working-class and be happy with what you’ve got, is the mantra. Screw that, I’m not having anyone put a ceiling on my life and I refuse to do anything that I don’t enjoy.
“He’s getting to big for his boots,” you say? I’m guessing you’re a Brit.
You are scared to rock the boat among your status quo and you fear the backlash of the poisonous, begrudging nature of Tall Poppy Syndrome. Be the taller poppy and stand proud!
5.) You Don’t Learn From Your Mistakes
“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
Albert certainly knew the score. I don’t really need to elaborate, as I feel the quote says it all. I’ll pass you over to my friend, Mr Bateman instead:
“Keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”
6.) You Make Excuses
You would apply for that dream job, but your uncles, sister’s, boyfriend’s goldfish is really ill and then there’s that really important thing you need to do. You would reignite that old hobby that made you feel alive as a child, but you’re so tired and there are just not enough hours in the day, right?
The word “but,” is the most used in your vocabulary and you talk yourself out of every legendary idea that you have. You have a million good ideas and a bazillion reasons why they might not work. You’re killing me.
7.) You Play The Blame Game
You need to be aware that there is always a better way to react to a situation and playing the victim card sucks away all your good energy and stops you moving on to the next level.
It’s far from easy, but if you can accept full responsibility for your life – you’ll put all of that energy into living your dream.
Do you relate to any of the destructive habits above? Maybe you’ve become self-aware and changed accordingly? I won’t let myself off the hook – I have been guilty of all the above, mainly the numbers 1, 5 and 7.