Usually, my journey to work resembles a ‘Smiths’ album. I saunter to the train station and in my sombre mood I begin to pick faults with everything around me, with a feeling of dread in my stomach.
Not today 😉
The predictably late train did not bother me, nor did the bad-mannered chavs or even the unnecessarily loud announcement from the train conductor, who blatantly hates his job as much as I do. For I had a brown envelope in my bag that contained a letter – a letter which symbolised a MASSIVE step in this dramatic transition of mine.
In case you haven’t worked it out yet…
…I have handed in my notice.
Stevie Wonder style – Signed, sealed and delivered, baby 🙂
Here is what I felt:
Hysteria – The endorphins kick in as soon as I hand it to my boss, during small-talk over the latest football transfers. Sneaky sneaky.
Absent-minded – I want to be that noble man, who is professional and puts 100% energy of his remaining hours at work. But I have already failed in becoming him as my mind wanders and daydreams about my future.
Nervous – Fear kicks in. “Oooh have I done the right thing? Is it too early to be doing this?” Don’t be fooled by my smile – I’m happy but extremely nervous too.
Doubt – Directly related to the above emotion. Some times doubt is actually our friend as it looks out for us and stops us from harming ourselves. Well thanks for your concern Mr Doubt, but I have no use for you right now.
Identity – For a while I have felt like a phoney and have been guilty of human nature’s greatest and saddest crime – not being true to myself. Today I’ve ripped off another piece of my mask and the real me is starting to show. I like him better than the other guy already.
Narcissistic – I become so self-involved that I can’t understand why the whole world is not as excited as me. Why is David Cameron not mentioning me handing my notice in on this week’s ‘Prime Minister’s Questions??’ Oh, so Obama has enough time to mention his beef with Gaddafi, but he fails to highlight my termination of employment!?!? :O
Gamble – Financially, this is a gamble. I haven’t yet made a sustainable online income like I hoped for and although I am over the moon to leave my job – I will now say goodbye to a steady pay check.
Idiocy – After handing in my notice, I found the nearest room and closed the door. I then blasted the new Foo Fighters song at obscene noise levels in my Ipod and played air-guitar around the room….seemed like a good idea at the time.
Naughty – The feeling of being a bit of a rebel. Love it.
Mantra – I am a very intolerant person, but I have developed a mantra to get me through the annoying bureaucracy that comes with a job. It is simply this; “tick-tock,” which symbolises that there is a countdown to how long I have to put up with this for – and the clock is agonisingly close to zero right now.
Yearning – A deep longing for my dream of travelling around this fine world feels ever so closer – but still so far away.
Notorious – I am well known for leaving jobs. I envisage all of the conversations some family members will be having behind my back when they find out this. “Eeeee what will we do with Anthony….” It annoys me a little.
Opacity – The feeling that many people will misunderstand me and my choice.
Tenable – People say I am stubborn and I disagree – I believe I am single-minded (the bridge between the two is small, but the definitions are very different). NOTHING could change my mind and keep me here, now that my mind is made up. Not even Kate Beckinsale dipped in chocolate.
Impatient – My mind has already left my job, but my body hasn’t. Raaaaaah, hurry up September 2nd!!
Canny – The Geordie word that goes with just about everything! How am I feeling after handing in my notice? Canny! It’s going to be canny scary and canny exciting at the same time. Nevertheless…..it’s all canny!
Elation – The positive feelings outweigh the negative feelings catastrophically. I have wanted to do this for so long and I am delighted and ecstatic that I have 🙂
Can you relate to any of the above emotions when you handed in your notice? Are you still in a job which you dislike and are considering leaving for pastures new?