Aside from the cases of a warped Austrian and a former Iraqi dictator who both suffered from small-penis syndrome, the mighty moustache has lived above many a legends upper lip. Back in the day, Mr Einstein brought us the theory of relativity, Ghandi kicked the Brits out of India and Chaplin made our Grandparents giggle – all whilst donning the face fluff with grace and authority of a straight-up dude.
Then there was that American wrestler in the early 90′s who seemed to take great offense to wearing a vest…
Ron Jeremy – the overweight, grotesque, 70′s adult-movie star proved that anything is possible, by confirming that his tash has tickled the thighs of over 5000 “lucky” ladies.
And how could anybody forget my personal favourite man with a stache – Mr Freddie Mercury?
Over the years the general view on a moustache has changed, and what was once seen as badass has now become a symbol of ridicule and a glimmer of solace for self-hating girls with Daddy issues…
Even England’s own Adonis, Mr Beckham tried and failed to “bring sexy back” with his foof-brusher, confirming the belief that the tash is dying faster than a Chinese Panda.
That is of course, with the exception of the month of November. During November each year, ‘Movember’ is responsible for the sprouting of moustachios on thousands of men’s faces around the world (it apparently started off in Australia). The aim of which is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and testicular cancer (the current total raised is $174 million worldwide).
Due to the absolute horror of my girlfriend and the boredom of my stubble-shaving routine, I have decided to become a “Mo Bro” and jump on the bandwagon of a good cause. Now, if I’m not going to get laid for a month and spend the large part of 30 days looking like a French sex offender, I’d appreciate you lot putting your hands in your pockets and donating to my profile page.
Wanna join me, fellas?
Signing up to Movember is easy-peasy. You can create your own profile in seconds – or alternatively you can join my team “Moustache Vs Clock” and update your moustache pictures accordingly to your adoring face-fuzz groupies.
As a proud team captain, I am obligated to stress the rules of Movember, should you choose to join us:
- Once registered at movember.com each mo bro must begin the 1st of Movember with a clean shaven face.
- For the entire month of November each mo bro must grow and groom a moustache.
- There is to be no joining of the mo to [one's] sideburns. (That’s considered a beard.)
- There is to be no joining of the handlebars to [one's] chin. (That’s considered a goatee.)
- Each mo bro must conduct himself like a true country gentleman.
Moustache Vs Clock for Movember – join me?