Love someone? Tell them.
They may not even reciprocate, but you shouldn’t speak such sacred words with a sneaky agenda of hearing it back. It should not be self-serving. You should say it because it’s true and every part of you feels it.
Fallen out of love with someone? Let them know.
As early as possible. You’re serving them absolutely no purpose by hiding this fact. Yes, it will hurt like a dagger through their heart, but the reality is that there is nothing noble about your cowardice. The seeming cruelty of the situation is a Disney movie compared to the crime of your silence.
Let them know. Expect them to suffer. Set them free, it’s the least they deserve on a human decency level.
Miss someone? Express it, but only if you mean it.
Just say it. Don’t wait for the right moment, because there is no truly bad time for this sentiment. People want to feel appreciated and remembered, throw some gratitude their way and light up their day.
Unnecessarily hurt someone? Grow a pair and say sorry.
Admit that you f***ed up, how you f***ed up and explain what you’ll do to try and make it better. It might be a case of too little, too late but if you truly care enough about the person – you should swallow your pride and take the risk. Self-pride is an ugly beast when taken too far. Be the bigger person and have no expectations on the outcome of your apology.
P***ed off with someone? Tell them!
I’m from an emotionally chicken-hearted family who like to bury their head in the sand, and talk about each other behind their backs instead of having the guts to be vulnerable, open and honest with one another.
I’ve been lucky to experience life outside of that bubble for the last four years and I’ve observed how inherently violent that way of living is. I don’t like confrontation either, but I have learnt that being sincere with your feelings might not get you a lot of friends, but it gets you the right ones. Someone upset you? You don’t have to go in with all guns blazing and start a verbal war, just speak from your heart and drop your ego.
If they don’t know how you feel – how else are you supposed to fix the bad blood?
Feel betrayed? Learn forgiveness.
A few years ago I would have rolled my eyes at the following philosophy:
My discontent at the alarming lack of justice in the world stopped me from warming to this way of thinking, but I get it now. I totally get it. Don’t get me wrong, everyone has their limits and I would be the last person to throw condescending new-age peace signs and rainbows at you if someone murdered the family cat.
But forgiveness really is a gift to yourself, especially if you’re hurting and you can’t change the outcome.
You don’t have to keep people who have hurt you too much in your life, or feel obligated to them on any level – but you should be open to the act of forgiveness, for the sake of your own inner peace.
If someone has betrayed you, or wronged your tender heart and you hold onto that hate, anger and suffering; you’re only hurting yourself by living in past pain – taking away joy that you could be having right now.
Forgive them and say goodbye to the tormentor in your head, which is constantly making you feel awful. Notice that anything else in insanity. You have the right to hurt, but you also owe it to yourself to heal.
So that’s my thoughts of the day. I don’t pretend to have all the answers on how to un-f**k this often mad world, but I do know this – we need more real people, less ego and also honest (in person) communication if we’re going to live a life of any kind of substance and happiness.